Saying Hello To Invisible Friends

Publicity can be a bit of a sticky wicket. Too much “look at me look at me” is just plain boring and obnoxious. Not enough and opportunities for connection are lost before having a chance to become even a twinkle in somebody’s eye. Even with opportunities to connect, promotion can only go so far without some sense of community.

I think about community whenever I fire up my computer, partly because of the people I’ve connected with online over the years. Those connections didn’t happen automatically. Somewhere along the line someone put their best foot forward, or noticed when someone else did the same.

Today I’m writing up a challenge in support of SEOs Fight Fat, in which I revisit an earlier threat promise idea about dying my hair pink. Before that I’d like to share with my invisible online friends a few reflections on cause-related connections from my past.

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When my daughter was in about the second grade her school principal put out the word that she’d dress up in a clown costume and roller skate through the halls if a fundraising goal was met. That particular fundraiser was a penny drive. The undersides of lots and lots of couches were ever so much more spotless than before, the goal was marvelously more than met, and the normally coiffed and polished school principal went batwild on skates. Good, community-building fun was had by all.

When my daughter was in middle school there was a youth pastor who said he’d shave his head if the kids made a fundraising goal for a charity project. I suspect that said youth pastor wanted to shave his head anyway, because the goal was on the low side, but that’s between him, his maker, and the kids. On head-shaving day he and the kids made a party of it, glorying in copious amounts of shaving cream and even some dome-top artwork. Good, community-building fun was had by all.

Years ago a fearful and filthy abandoned pet cat was living under the apartment building where we lived. He ate out of the dumpster and watched the world like a hawk, always from a safe distance. Every time I went around to the back of the building to the laundry room I talked to him, as if it mattered. I crooned to him that he was observant, smart, beautiful – a cat among cats. In a few weeks he was accompanying me to the laundry room door and the dumpster, head held high. In a few months I was able to get close enough to start cutting out mats. A quietly satisfying time was had by two. :)

I will remember these things for the rest of my life.

Nobody can bottle this stuff and force it to go viral. On the giving side of the promotional coin, it’s not hard to send fan mail or cast a little bread on the waters, or to give a post a Stumble or a Sphinn, or to stop by and say hello in some small way. It matters.

Dazzlin LOLcat Dodges Sub

An innocent-looking Dazzlin D LOLcat chose healthy food over one of the most seductive sandwiches in my recent memory.

If the surveillance camera had been turned the other way, you’d see yours truly showing signs of being overcome by the thought of absconding with said 2,000 calorie fried shimp poboy. The days drag on, and the thoughts remain. Will I be forever haunted by a sandwich?

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Donna Fontenot is the organizer of SEOs Fight Fat, a two-month dieting competition where eleven well-known SEOs are competing to raise money for charity. Pledges from $20 to $2000 are welcome.

Make LOLcats to Help Fight Fat

Why not make your own lolcat in support of the SEO Fat Fighters?

  1. Go to icanhascheezburger
  2. Visit the LOL Builder
  3. Save your LOL
  4. Share your SEOcat in an encouraging blog post that is linked to seosfightfat.com

SEOcat Nathania Johnson Loves Pilates

Nathania Johnson was recently spotted cat napping after a hard day’s work editorializing at Bold Interactive and fighting fat with fellow fat fighters at SEOs Fight Fat.

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I really love doing Pilates. It improves posture and helps to tone and shape your body.

Nathania Johnson – Exercise Favorite: Pilates

Nathania has a Twitter account set up just for the event. You can follow her at Twitter.com/natfightsfat. The widget for that account is on the sidebar of her blog at SEOS Fight Fat. At this moment I can see that someone needs to message our fair SEOcat and remind her that brownies are NOT the cat’s meow.

Make LOLcats to Help Fight Fat

Why not make your own lolcat in support of the SEO Fat Fighters?

  1. Go to icanhascheezburger
  2. Visit the LOL Builder
  3. Save your LOL
  4. Share your SEOcat in an encouraging blog post that is linked to seosfightfat.com

LOLcats Spotted at SMX West

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So far, David Wallace is on track to be the winner for the guys.

So what are the rules and how is a winner determined? Each participant has chosen his/her favorite charity that they are playing for. During the two month period between February 1, 2008 and March 31, 2008, each SEO will attempt to lose weight using whatever methods he or she thinks is best. On March 31st, the woman who has lost the most weight (based on a percentage of weight loss) and the man who has lost the most weight (again based on percentage) will be in a finalist face-off. On April 1st, all of you will vote and choose the winner of the challenge from those two finalists. The final winner’s charity will receive all of the sponsorship pledge funds.

About seosfightfat.com

Make LOLcats to Help Fight Fat

Why not make your own lolcat in support of the SEO Fat Fighters?

  1. Go to icanhascheezburger
  2. Visit the LOL Builder
  3. Save your LOL
  4. Share your SEOcat in an encouraging blog post that is linked to seosfightfat.com

I Can Haz Onion?

Peel an onion and what do you get? More onion.

Peel me and what do you get? More than one kind of layer, that’s for sure, except…

…I hear it’s good for a site to have “focus.” (wink)

I’m the boss, this is my mother ship, and for here and now, what you’re going to get is onion a la Elizabeth. The “kids” are going to have to share elbow room.

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My interests are pretty web-centric, or maybe it’s that I’m interested in how the web can overlap almost everything. Also, though too much diversity can kill in a not-good way from a marketing perspective, I like the idea of having a one-home-fits-all place for the art me, the nerd me, the me who is still having cravings for a certain fat fighter’s fried shrimp sandwich and the me who could live on organic oranges and spinach forever and ever.

Once in a while I see comments from people who wonder why there aren’t more artists who are also into geekery, or women who do tech as well as girlyness, or girly girls who can also use a saw, and I wonder if so many of us humans could possibly be so one-dimensional. Maybe we’re being market-smart and keeping our incongruous parts in separate public entities.

I think I’ll pass.

Elsewhere I can make targeted content for a specific audience. Here I want to push myself to turn over the compost and see what grows. The longer I stew on it, the more sure I am: I don’t want to make ablereach.com be that thing that looks like a web site and has the requisite web site parts. I want to keep digging into how my personality and priorities marinate with the flavors of the Internet.

And W00t. You know what this means, don’t you?

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Yepperz. Blogtreetz.

  1. Interviews. I love, love, love talking to people about what makes something jive. The topic could be almost anything. For this blog I’m starting an ongoing series based around using the Internet to build community. Dazzlin D’s interview about community was a delight for both of us. The next two are in the works, and I am a very happy camper.
  2. Online Education. Have plans, will spill. Soon.
  3. WordPress. Have plans, will spill. Wednesday.
  4. Stories. Just because. You liked this and this. Me, too.
  5. Play. I posted about going pink. I owe you one about going green – my hair, that is.
  6. Introspection. I like introspection that feels like a workout, and leaves me wanting to go exploring.
  7. An open door for more.

Creative Blogging: Plans Versus Experience

In my past life there was a time when I drew every day. I had dedicated studio space where anywhere from ten to thirty drawings would be tacked to the “good light” part of the wall that was reserved for work in progress. A series of drawings or paintings would start off unified by a general concept – artifacts, Vivaldi, morning light, seashells as instinctual organic architecture – and as I worked on them they’d progress together or diverge to different parts of the wall.

After a few days or weeks on the wall some would feel finished, and some would get recycled as collage parts for other work. A few would hit ye olde circular file – not many, because I like layers and there is a lot that can be done with recycling.

Sometimes, even before drawings were more than a curve in my imagination, notes, bits of poetry, color swatches, pages from magazines and whatever else felt like relevant fertility-builders would get pinned to the wall in groups, like bookmarks or folders in a RSS feed reader. The effect, for me, was a primordial soup of possibilities and landmarks, like a translation of what my mind feels like when approaching an idea. I’d face the wall, breathe, pick up the tools, and GO.

Somewhat unexpectedly, visitors were fascinated by the work wall. At times, having it exposed was too much “naked,” and I’d cover it with big sheets of paper, like a burqa between private and public dreams. I found that the need to focus creativity into a discrete and finished piece would lose its concentration if unfinished treasures were too public, too discussed. Too much “burqa” would make going public difficult, and cut out possibilities for the joys of dialog and reaction experienced with friends and detractors. I balanced where I wanted to stand, between vacuum-private and the tsunami feeling of being uncovered.

Art was dance, balance, and experience translated on a daily basis.

I’d like to blog that way.

When I started this frequent posting thing I wondered if blogging might have some overlaps with the old art-me. This is where I am with that hope today:

Barriers

  • WordPress’s drafts folder is always in “burqa.”
  • 30 drafts feel more like 30 to-do lists than 30 possibilities. Not good.
  • Computers are too self-contained for the kind of art wall I’ve been missing.
  • Writing needs more structure than art.

Possibilities

  • Do more display of my own personal bonzo. So far, people seem to relate to my think-different self. Life is short. Dancing out on a few limbs could be invigorating, but will it ever pay the bills?
  • Post less. Would giving myself more time help a group of my 30 drafts become real posts with beginning, middle, and end?
  • Burn some trees. Print out the drafts and pin them to a wall at home where I can see them and doodle. My bookcases can live elsewhere – like computers, they store and enclose.
  • More structure. Could backfire, depending on what I “goal” for. A low-variable goal of baking x dozen cookies for a potluck generally results in x dozen cookies. A goal of coming up with x dozen new cookie recipes in a year could take off in almost x dozen different ways. Goodness knows what a goal of learning about food chemistry through cookie baking would produce, but it could be infinitely more interesting than simply baking x dozen cookies.

Does this tale of WordPress ring a bell with any of you? Please comment.

Random Bytes On Naked Blogging

How much self disclosure is too much?

Some is essential, because readers need a degree of background information, and not only on the facts and logistics of a non-personal issue. As long as I want to communicate why I care, there will be times when I’ll need to reveal myself.

I worry that speaking too much from my “me” place might turn off readers, for two main reasons:

  1. Readers would be bored as hell. Why would someone who wants me to get back to my WordPress walkabout (or whatever) want to read stories about my feelings?
  2. Too much of the wrong information is a distraction. Once I start getting naked, every layer of disclosure presents new questions about how much is too much, and too much is… LOL… well, let’s move along.

Getting Into Trouble

There is such a thing as not enough of a good thing. Just to the not-far-enough side of self indulgence I would get into trouble with myself if I did not dig into own voice, for two main reasons:

  1. I’d be bored as hell. It’s not only about the reader. I’ve got to be engaged, too, you know.
  2. The guilt would not be inspiring. I’d feel like a spammer, adding more junk to the heap of what’s online.

Writing For An Audience Greater Than Three

For those of you who don’t have magical insight to my thought process, an audience greater than three is anyone more than me, myself and I.

One good thing talking to myself is that I already, hopefully, understand my own frame of reference. If not, that frame of reference may be too loosey goosey to hold together in sentences and paragraphs. It may be like a half-finished sculpture that needs to be rolled down a hill to knock off the a few problematic parts. I won’t know until I take a chance on turning it over a few times.

Sometimes I find out what I’m really thinking after I start to write.

The minute I write something down I’ve got issues. Grammar and the “spellchucker” vie for attention like wild toddler twins playing trampoline on someone else’s bed, while just around the corner the imagined “someone else” lurks, wondering what’s going on and how long it will last.

If I try to placate the lurker I lose the idea.

Some ideas remind me of my uncle attempting to wink charmingly while saying to my aunt, “your baby needs changing.”

Herding The Feral Idea Virus

No, I didn’t know what I was going to write after that heading. It just popped out somehow, and then there was a little feeling of spark. Good spark. I can work with good spark, and, like compost, it doesn’t have to smell good to lead to something good.

I may not want to share the sources or products of all my good sparks, but if I can avoid getting sidetracked into too much personal information, letting *some* of my personal crap out to play can help get the writing rolling. If I am willing to expose myself to the elements I can start on no spark, stir the compost and watch for signs of rebirth amongst the afterbirth.

Sign: this is what might happen next.

Sign: honey, you’re not going to say that in public.

Sign: *why* you’re not going to say that in public is… excuse me…

Sign: *why* is. Is is is.

Written with a pair of “compost” kickers and ten gallon tip of the hat to Jonathan Fields Strip Blogging: how naked will you go?, and a grinning honorific to my talented friend Miriam and her encouragement for my writing.

Search For the Holy Grail

Join me, dear reader, for an evolving tale of irreverence and punny pink-ness, as we undertake a journey inspired by charity and oddly shaped snacks.

First, I need to make a point that is vital to our mission.

This is not the holy grail.

Fluffy Coffee

As discovered by another intrepid prospector, fluffy coffee is not an essential building block of a meaningful life. Really.

The Adventure Begins

Earlier this month, after I spotted spotted uncommon uses in the wilds of Feedburner, I was inspired to begin a quest for signs of intelligent blogextraterrestrial life lurking among the statistics.

uncommon.jpg

I knew I had to look further.

Investigating Analytics

Finally, at the far reaches of on my trek through remote tables and graphs I found mysterious alien tracks.

Mysterious Tracks

I followed them to the edge of the encampment of the fine folks at seosfightfat.com.

At seosfightfat.com I found pages and pages of SEO’s fighting for good. Some were battling carbs others calories. But whatever war they raged, oh do they rage!

Malware Discovered

The source of those heart shaped tracks became clear to me. I followed them and eventually found the culprit. She was a sticky bit of malware of a sort that is common only in February.

Malware

Oh, the humanity!

My Fingers trembled as I sought to start-up my Anti-Malware software – but it was to no avail. I could hear the machine whirl in pain as the hungry virus chewed up my resources.

What happened next is a blur. I do know that as I vanquished her she laughed with caloric glee, and afterwards…

Vanquished Malware

…in the middle of bookmarking my place in the encampment I lapsed into a sugar coma. Don’t worry. It didn’t last long.

I slept, perchance to dream, and dreamed of marvelous things – amazing feats of willpower, and finding Pandora’s box, twice:

Pandora’s DoughnutsThe first Pandora’s Box was overflowing with donuts. It was labeled “David Doesn’t Live Here Any More.”

Pandora’s PistachiosThe next, brimming with pistachios, was labeled “Jeff has Moved On.”

Shaking Off The Sugar Hangover

I awakened feeling bloated, twitchy, pasty and irritable. Though the vanquish of malware can be rich and good, as a snack they are worse than unsatisfying. Certain vital nutrients are missing. I was left with an aimless hunger that had to be addressed. I shook off my grogginess and began to look around.

Nearby, several SEOs were relaxing by a campfire. Expecting to see marshmallows browning over the campfire, as graham crackers and chocolate await nearby, I was surprised to see fruits and nuts instead. What? What kind of crazy extraterrestrial campfire treat is this? After a delightful honeycrisp apple, I felt refreshed and was inspired to explore the flora and fauna of this brave new world.

Inhabitants Of The Habitat

Suddenly, a large unordered list of Stumbling and Sphinning SMOs darted by, clicking and commenting. They were resplendent in their mating plumage, as can be seen by green thumbs held high. Perhaps the SMOs were hot on the trail of a newly ripened feed of long-tailed link bait. I had to see for myself.

As I followed their tracks through the flora and fauna I glanced down and saw a dozen oddly shaped turtles. What caused these turtles to appear so different than their real life cousins? Could it be the nut filled creamy caramel covered in dark delicious chocolate that caused this phenomenon? My first thoughts were to rescue these pitiful creatures but I had no pockets. Thinking quickly I shoved them into my mouth and trekked deeper into SEOsfightfat.com.

What do you think will happen next?

Leave a comment and check back later today.

Comments I like will be added to the post, like that game where each person adds a line to the story. Or, I may make a series of posts. I don’t know, because the story has not been written.

Styling Wide Widgetized Sidebars, Part I

There are two general approaches to styling a wide, widgetized sidebar: fill one dynamic_sidebar with individually styled widgets, or fill a sidebar container with several instances of dynamic_sidebar. Though perfectionists and geeky control freaks will appreciate the control of individually styled widgets, for pure speed and simplicity the multiple dynamic_sidebar path is hard to beat.

This tutorial will walk you through creating a sidebar container filled with several, widgetized dynamic “sidebars.”

  1. Step One: Add more sidebars to functions.php
  2. Step Two: Set up sidebar.php
  3. Step Three: Styling instances of dynamic_sidebar
  4. Step Four: Bring on the widgets

Step One: Add more sidebars to functions.php

This code in functions.php will allow for the six instances of dynamic_sidebar required by this tutorial. Background information about this code can be found in other tutorials listed at the end of this entry.

 
if ( function_exists('register_sidebar') ){

  register_sidebars(6,array(
    'before_widget' => '
<li id="%1$s" class="widget %2$s">',
    'after_widget' => '</li>

 
',
    'before_title' => '
<h2 class="widgettitle">',
    'after_title' => '</h2>

 
',
  ));
}
 

Step Two: Set up sidebar.php

This sample content for sidebar.php will create locations for six instances of dynamic_sidebar. Retaining the list structure as suggested here will create a hierarchical navigation list. You’ll also see that I’ve created three classes: .widebar, .leftbar and .rightbar. Because IDs are meant to appear only once in a page, classes are the better choice in this case.

These newly minted sidebars won’t show up until widgets have been dragged into them.

 
<div id="sidebar">
<ul>
 
<!-- begin widebar -->
<li class="widebar">
<ul>
<?php /* Widgetized sidebar. */

if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(1) ) : ?>

<?php endif; ?>
    </ul>
</li>
 
<!-- finish widebar  and begin leftbar -->
<li class="leftbar">

<ul>
<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(2) ) : ?>

        <?php endif; ?>
    </ul>
</li>
 
<!-- finish leftbar and begin rightbar -->
<li class="rightbar">

<ul>
<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(3) ) : ?>

<?php endif; ?>
    </ul>
</li>
 
<!-- finish rightbar and begin widebar -->
<li class="widebar">

<ul>
<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(4) ) : ?>

<?php endif; ?>
    </ul>
</li>
 
<!-- finish widebar and begin leftbar -->
<li class="leftbar">

<ul>
<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(5) ) : ?>

<?php endif; ?>
    </ul>
</li>
 
<!-- finish leftbar and begin rightbar -->
<li class="rightbar">

<ul>
<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(6) ) : ?>

<?php endif; ?>
    </ul>
</li>
 
<!-- finish rightbar -->
</ul>
</div>

 

Step Three: Styling instances of dynamic_sidebar

Here’s a jump start on stying, complete with crazy background colors to help you see what’s cooking. You may or may not need to add clear: right to .widebar, or a clear: left to .leftbar and a clear: right to .rightbar. A width of 100% or close to it can be added to .widebar.

Using a fixed width for #sidebar and a less-than 100% percentage for the combined width of .leftbar and .rightbar automatically takes care of some of the pickier aspects of allowing for space between columns in a confined space. If your #sidebar refuses to become as wide as width: 390px, check to see if there is enough room in your layout for a 390 pixel wide space.

 
#sidebar{
      padding: 10px 0;
      width: 390px;}

 
.widebar {
      clear: right;
      background-color: yellow; }
 

.leftbar {
      float: left;
      width: 49%;
      background-color: pink;}

 
.rightbar {
      float: right;
      width: 49%;
      background-color: lime;}

 

If using Kubrick (the WordPress Default theme) you may want to remove that theme’s odd though clever bullets.

CSS to delete or comment out:

 
.entry ul li:before, #sidebar ul ul li:before {

      content: "\00BB \0020";}
 

New styling to complete:

 
.entry ul {

      }
 
.entry li {
      }
 
#sidebar ul {

      }
 

Step Four: Bring on the widgets

Go to Presentation > Widgets and drag some widgets into your new sidebars. If you’ve used my example, Sidebars 1 & 4 will be two column wide crossbars, 2 & 5 will be lefthand columns, and 3 & 6 will become righthand columns. Some experimentation will be needed to make each “sidebar” feel like the right length. At this point you’ll want to backtrack and double check how the CSS above is working for your particular theme.

Good luck!

More on functions.php or widening Kubrick

WordPress Sidebar Widget Sandwich

This tutorial will cover adding several “sidebars” to sidebar.php using simple “if” statements, and where to place unwidgeted content in the same file. This is a first step to my next tutorial, which will present some ideas for how to style a wide, widgetized sidebar.

Mixing widgetized and unwidgetized sidebar content can be confusing. Once in a while there is a script or a plugin that is not available as a sidebar widget, or a widget that is a hassle to reproduce as unwidgetized code. Sandwiching a few widgets between unwidgetized content lets you use both flavors as needed.

  1. Step One: Add more sidebars to functions.php
  2. Step Two: Add extra “sidebars” to sidebar.php
  3. Step Three: Understand where to put unwidgetized content

Step One: Add more sidebars to functions.php

Adding the example code below to functions.php allows for three “sidebars.” The code to add a sidebar to funtions.php is the same if a sidebar is an include or if it is called by an “if” statement as in my example sidebar.php contents in step two. To help with styling later, have used an array that adds an ID and class named for each widget used.

The number in the register_sidebars line is equal to the number of sidebars that will show up at Presentation > Widgets. Dragging widgets into those sidebars won’t have any effect unless each specific sidebar also appears somewhere in your template.

 

if ( function_exists('register_sidebar') ){
  register_sidebars(3,array(

    'before_widget' => '
<li id="%1$s" class="widget %2$s">',
    'after_widget' => '</li>
 

',
    'before_title' => '
<h2 class="widgettitle">',
    'after_title' => '</h2>

 
',
  ));
}
 

I like to add an extra “sidebar” or two to sidebar.php, when I am first setting up a theme. This gives me flexibility down the line. If the building blocks are already in place, I won’t have to re-think anything if I later need to mix widgeted and unwidgeted content. Note that additional “sidebars” won’t show up in Presentation > Widgets unless there is corresponding code in funtions.php.

Using an “if” statement means that “sidebars” without active widgets won’t show up in the generated page, unless there is alternative code before the php endif of that “sidebar” – see “Heading” under !dynamic_sidebar(1) below.

If widgets are active for a “sidebar,” alternative content before the php endif of that sidebar won’t show. That makes for a handy place to leave myself notes that I don’t want to show in the generated page.

Though !dynamic_sidebar() gives the the same result as !dynamic_sidebar(1), once I have more than one sidebar I like to add the “1” to help me remember that there are more than one of them.

Example content for a sidebar.php file:

 
<div id="sidebar">

<ul>
 
   <?php /* Widgetized sidebar. */
if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(1) ) : ?>

<li>
<h2>Heading</h2>
<ul>
<li>list item</li>
<li>list item</li>
</ul>

</li>
 
   <?php endif; ?>
 
   <?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(2) ) : ?>

   <?php endif; ?>
 
   <?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(3) ) : ?>

   <?php endif; ?>
</ul>
</div>
 

Step Three: Understand where to put unwidgetized content

Still in sidebar.php, find the start and end of each “if” statement. You don’t have to know what an “if” statement is, or how to write one. All that’s needed is to learn to recognize where they start and end.

These “if” statements say are that “if” there is a “dynamic_sidebar” then widgets active in whichever numbered “!dynamic_sidebar” should be used, followed by closing the “if” statement with an “endif.” A “sidebar” with active widgets will only show widgets. Unwidgeted content between a pair of “if” and “endif” will only show when the “sidebar” referred to by that particular “if” statement has no active widgets. So, basically, unwidgetized content needs to go before the “if” and after the “endif.”

In the illustration below, I placed “This line…” in between list item tags because standard widgets will generate navigation lists. When setting something up, formatting notes to myself using (x)html that will coordinate with the with the rest of that area helps me to stay organized.

Another look at sidebar.php:

 
<div id="sidebar">
<ul>
<li>This line will show, regardless.</li>

 
<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(1) ) : ?>

<li>This line will NOT show when the first sidebar has active widgets</li>
 
   <?php endif; ?>
<li>This line will show, regardless.</li>
 

<?php if ( !function_exists('dynamic_sidebar') || !dynamic_sidebar(2) ) : ?>

<li>This line will NOT show when the second sidebar has active widgets</li>
 
   <?php endif; ?>
<li>This line will show, regardless.</li>
</ul>

</div>